Development of trusting relationship begins with revision of the beliefs and installations, change of the behavior. Trusting, you rely on a maturity and independence (in compliance with age) the child. These qualities are formed under your influence. The easiest this formation happens when you show enough analytical and reflexive skills and are able to find a common language with the child.
Instruction
1. Analyze in what your mistrust what thoughts and fears accompany it is shown. Without trusting, you limit children, making for them decisions and controlling them. You are afraid for health of the child, worry what he will get under others influence, or will make a mistake? Often the rage and indignation can visit you: "How he dared to act this way?". Your emotions and fears are lawful, moreover, you are obliged to suspect two steps forward because the child, owing to the age, is not always capable to make it.
2. Now look at a situation with the child's eyes. Be he a pupil of elementary school, the teenager or the young man, he, first of all, the personality also has the right to make independent decisions. Recognize behind it this right. It is really important for the child since gives him certain experience, confidence in the forces. Agree that the ability to work without thinking about someone is useful in life. Can he do it, or not - other question which depends on you.
3. Look also at yourself the child's eyes. And a look "from outside" estimate the actions. How often do you draw hasty conclusions? On emotions, without having understood, you make the decisions limiting the little person? You go on an easy way of the bans, take "pseudo-educational" measures which in practice do not result in the necessary results, alienate the child from you and embittering it. And you the adult, so, more skilled and judicious person who of all opportunities uses only one – the authority (or authoritativeness if more precisely). Whether you assimilate to the whimsical child, with only that difference that in your hands there is a power over own children and that often doubtful?
4. After such analysis sum up the result. Your arsenal of actions can be much wider than threats and punishments. If you are afraid of influence of the bad companies, teach the child to choose friends, to resist to influence, to make independent decisions or to speak "no". Do you worry what the child will make a mistake? Understand that the mistake is an experience, not to avoid all mistakes. Teach to analyze situations, to look forward, consider several factors, to be responsible for the decisions.
5. Regularly, in any non-conflicting, ordinary situation you teach the child to think, talk to him, discuss that it is interesting to it. Your trust will be based on knowledge that the child is warned or is able to work correctly in any situation.
6. You learn to respect the child. Be attentive to its feelings, opinion. You learn to communicate with it as equals, without threats and insults. Then only the child will be open with you, and it will be easier for you to understand the course of his thoughts, you will know what of his beliefs can be corrected softly. But, along with it, you learn to accept and understand "dissent" of children. Developing in them criticality and independence of thinking, you will face sooner or later own opinion of the child which has the right for existence.