Some parents are dissatisfied that their child is too aggressive others - excessive peacefulness and kindness. Especially often from fathers it is possible to hear also such complaints: prim some young lady grows, is not able to hit back, to take away the selected toy, and life – such cruel, survives strong, in it weak is doomed. But this opinion of parents. How to teach the child to behave in a critical situation and to stand for itself? Consider that for a start it is not less important to force parents to estimate adequately a concrete situation and reaction of the child.
1. Whether you are sure that you do not exaggerate a problem? It is important to divide two moments: as the child treats this situation and as you react to it, parents. Wonder: the state of affairs in reality is so dramatic from the point of view of your son or the daughter? Whether the truth that it is humiliated, offend, oppress? Or this situation reminded you something from your own childhood, what was once endured by you, your some longtime offenses, and you involuntarily transferred the ideas of life to the child?
2. Do not impart to the child your complexes. This direct consequence from this what it was told above about. Considering that he suffers indignity, parents often program inferiority complexes in children. Do not focus the adult attention on any injustice, the kid would not begin to react so. Teased, pushed away, did not accept in a game … Everything happens during children's communication. Now did not allow to play, and in minutes thirty will call. You were pushed away, and in a few minutes you will push away somebody … In the childhood of offense are easily endured and are quickly forgotten.
3. Listen attentively to what you tell to the child what words images you use. We are often, by the own words "we program" the child's life. We say: "life is cruel, and in it it is necessary to make the way in life strictly". And the child begins to feel in an environment of enemies. The world is huge, and the child in it is small therefore he is not able to fight against the world, and, therefore does not feel capable to win, does not feel protected. From here some children have fears, at others – aggressive behavior as which source serves the same fear of the world. Remember that for full harmonious development it is important to child to believe that the world to it is benevolent. Of course, can angrily meet, but the good has to win.
4. Do not call the child "weak" (even in thoughts). It is peculiar to some parents, generally fathers. Children become isolated, retire into oneself as they cannot cope with uncertainty in own forces moreover are afraid to draw upon themselves discontent of dad or mom. Also cease to tell parents about the experiences, feelings. And problems begin to expand as a snowball which will alienate further and further the child from the world.
5. The kid is not able to protect himself yet therefore protect him, but not to fanaticism. Do not turn into those who at the slightest pretext make scandals in the yard, in a garden, at school … But to leave the child without protection, and still then and to reproach him with weakness is the worst exit. Over time he will learn, will save up in himself forces to resist to injustice and aggression for now adults are obliged to help it to understand what occurs. Here it is very important to consider age of the child.
6. It is necessary to bring the little person out of the injuring situation. If your child is constantly offended, talk to tutors or teachers. If necessary, transfer him to other establishment. But only as a last resort "to run" from a garden in a garden or from school in school also perniciously, as well as "to suppress" a problem.
7. Observe the child: whether he provokes aggression? You talked to tutors or teachers, replaced child care facility or school, and the situation remained. Perhaps, put not only in those who surround your daughter or the son. Most likely, your child itself provokes such attitude towards itself. And then complains that it is offended. In this case it is necessary to learn not delivery to give, and to communicate with children, to be open and benevolent.