If parents on questions of education of the child say that the love does not happen much, it is necessary to prick up the ears and specify that parents mean under a concept "much does not happen". Perhaps, it is about hyper guardianship?
What can be hyper guardianship?
Hyper guardianship can be pritvorstvuyushchy, and it says "all is possible and even much more, than all". In this type of hyper guardianship the child is nearly the universal value of all family, and all needs of all family members as a result are removed even not on the second, and on the fifth plan, and pass to the forefront requirements and desires of the child. No requirements are imposed to the kid, for him there are no bans or education.
Also hyper guardianship can quite be exacting, that is saying "nothing is impossible more". Here a lot of attention is also paid to the child, but only here he is not idolized, on keep it under the most fixed control. The child is filled simply up with various obligations, and parents address him with the words "you have to". At exacting hyper guardianship for each step the child will have to report to the mom and dad and also to report to them about the most minor changes in the plans.
With what hyper guardianship consequences can?
In case of a pritvorstvuyushchy gipeopeka the child can have serious problems with adaptation in kindergarten. The thing is that the child who was worshipped, being very strongly spoiled, will meet only a nedolyublivaniye and ignoring from peers. It is absolutely bad if the child did not go to kindergarten, and got to school after 7 years of such spoiled life at once. Besides, both teachers, and tutors will not be kindly treats the child who is sure that everything is permitted to him, and he will never be punished.
Besides, if artificially created "genius" and "talent" of the child for everything just is not confirmed at school where there is a competition, the child not only will be disappointed in itself and in the abilities, but also will receive serious blow to a self-assessment and cruel hatred to mom with dad for deception.
In the second case when each breath of the child is controlled, the child grows up lacking initiative, diffident. Besides, such child will never have the opinion, he will not show to himself or to make plans. Well and, of course, he will be closed and will not have more than 5 friends.
The child very much early will begin to realize all horrors of such education and can rebel. As the latent form the revolt is shown in the form of lies, exaggeration of a disease and in attempts to leave from duties. An open form – aggression, disobedience.
If suddenly you with bitterness recognized yourself in one of descriptions, immediately change the rules of education of the child, otherwise you risk to grow up the uncertain, closed person who will never be understood by the world if is not engaged in self-education and will not leave you far away.