The question of disobedience arises practically in each family. And it is very important to know how it is correct to behave not to spoil the relation with the child, but to solve a problem.
For certain any parent came up against a situation of disobedience and called the child disobedient. And this problem, undoubtedly, concerns all. Especially as there is a wish to love and be proud of the child, to live in peace, to be a friend, support and a support for him, but not to swear and punish. So, we will try to understand how to be.
Basic principles of education:
1. Main parents in family, but not the child.
There should not be democracy at all, where the kid to be put as equals with mom and dad — on that you and parents to learn and help. Yes, when your child not small is also worth a question, for example, of receipt in institute and future life, it is possible to listen to his opinion (it is an important step to HIS lives), but the last word always has to be for you.
2. Both parents have to be at one.
It is very important and the explanation is not required.
3. No, means is not present.
The word is not present has to sound seldom, but special attention has to be paid to it — for example, it has to be said at real threat to the child or in exceptional cases. In situations when the child just wants to take your magazine, better to say we will allow: "Ouch, why it is necessary to you?" and to switch attention to something interesting. Otherwise the kid will hear "No" constantly and will cease to react to him. And the most important — if you said no, but you have to be basic and hold the ground, but not change the mind in 5 minutes even if you observe shout and tears (just leave and do not react) — differently your child will cease to treat your words seriously.
4. No — no.
If you said no today on what cannot be taken, for example, phone — means in any other day it too it is impossible to take — always!
Important rules of education:
1. At education consider development and age of the child.
2. Rationality of your requirements.
It is not necessary to leave at the slightest disobedience the child hungry, for example.
3. Extent of punishment has to correspond to offense and to be timely.
If the child unintentionally scattered something, it is not necessary to flog him. Or if the child played mean tricks in the morning, it is not necessary to deprive of him cartoons in the evening — punishment has to go at once.
4. You have to be quiet before punishment.
If you feel that you too are angry, take any measures that will calm down (take the air, to other room, a balcony, make several quiet sighs), and only after that make the decision.
5. Put yourself to the place of the child and think how to talk and how to arrive.
6. You do not shout — the quiet voice is always perceived better, and rare shout in critical situations will be perceived with special importance.
7. Talk in clear language.
8. If the child suited a hysterics (thus the child tries to operate you) — do not react and move away from the kid, be quiet and persistent and when he calms down — approach it. Thus he will understand that its shout does not lead to anything and if he is silent — you nearby.
9. If the child scatters something — at all do not bring it back, and on the contrary remove. It is not necessary to bring up by the principle — Anything if only was silent. And so the child will understand that if he is thrown, then the thing was gone he — and will cease to be engaged in it.
10. Be always an example.
If you swear for what that the child constantly sits in front of the TV, and do the same is it is absolutely inexpedient.
11. Be ready to dialogue and discussion.
12. In some not dangerous situations keep silent and look with what a situation will end — let the kid will understand what so does not need to be done.
13. Encourage good, and bad is not present. It is not necessary to treat good, as due. The child has to feel that good to be pleasant.
14. If you want to compare in the educational purposes, then compare behavior, but not people. For example, it is not necessary to speak you badly you behave as Petya — it is correct to tell — Petya played a dirty trick and now will be punished — you do not want also.
15. You find the reasons and analyze why the child so behaves.
Consider the aforesaid and I hope that you learn to bring up your beloved child. And — bring up the main thing not as it is convenient to you and as it will be good and it is useful for it — it is not necessary to do, let us assume, of the boy of the mother's sonny — grow up the good, loving son and the real man. Love and good to your family!