The pubertal period – critical age during which there is a difficult reorganization of an organism of the child his outlook and feeling of change. Emergence of various contradictions can be a consequence of it. Escape of the teenager from the house – one of the most difficult problems which parents have to solve together with psychologists.
Why teenagers run from the house
The teenage period – age of contradictions, the child seeks to resemble peers, very much tries to prove the autonomy and uniqueness. Often it seems to the teenager that nobody understands him and appreciates, and especially – parents who continue to perceive him as the kid. To prove "maturity", to force to reckon with the opinion, the teenager can leave the house. This act – a revolt, a protest against lack of mutual understanding with parents. In such cases the child can run away even from very safe domestic surroundings.
Other reasons of leaving of the child the house: - ignoring of physical and psychological needs of the teenager;
- unsuccessful situation in family; - aggression or continuous reproaches from parents; - scandals between parents; - divorce of parents, repeated marriage, appearance of the stepfather or stepmother, birth of one more child; - excessive guardianship or total absence of control; - communication of the teenager with the "bad" company.
How to prevent possible leaving the house
Do not wait when there are problems, try to prevent them. The most dangerous psychological period – from 10 to 15 years. Remember that the child matures, the love, and acceptance of his personality is necessary for him not just. Parents first of all have to accept the fact that the child grew up, it is necessary to reckon with his opinion, the relations with it need to be built friendly, partner. Try to exclude directive style of relationship. Like "Both told phrases, and will be", "I solve here" will lead to flashes of a protest from the teenager. Be interested in the child's life, maintain the equal relations with his friends, encourage their communication in the house – so you will better know who surrounds your child. Consult on the teenager concerning various family questions – he has to feel that you perceive it as adult. Try to make a life of the child rich – encourage his undertakings, ideas. The its leisure will be more interesting, the less will remain to time for idleness and dangerous hobbies. Listen to the child, do not fight off him desire to share the problems phrases like "I warned", "Always you have everything not so". You appreciate his frankness and be frank in exchange.
What to do if the child nevertheless ran away
Having found escape, it is necessary to contact at once police, having taken the freshest photos of the child and the description of his clothes. At once begin search of the fugitive and by own efforts. If the teenager is not inclined to vagrancy and did not contact the bad company, most likely he will be found in someone from relatives or friends. Analyze behavior of the teenager before escape in recent days – with whom he communicated whether he mentioned any problems. Talk to his friends – they can be aware of its plans, however it will be difficult "to get" at them information. When you find the child, do not try to return him home by force. If you begin to hold him against desire, will hide things – you will only strengthen the aspiration of the teenager to escape from "prison". Suggest the child to agree. Avoiding reproaches, listen to his point of view and express. Try to understand the child and recognize the mistakes if you really made them. In a conversation emphasize that you love it, despite all problems. In the future do not tell about incident to either relatives, or friends. When over time everything gets better, the child can regret about the behavior, but in the opinion of other people he and will remain "useless". Most likely, you should address for consultation the psychologist. He will help you to analyze domestic surroundings, to define the reasons of a teenage protest. In common you will be able to resolve all contradictions and to return the world to your family.