Spring – good time for new meetings and acquaintances. For twenty-year-old expansion of a circle of contacts – a usual and elementary thing. After thirty years the set of stereotypes and expectations from the first communication appears. Acquaintance becomes the real problem. But at competent approach the chances to continue pleasant communication are very high at any age.
Women consider that all good men already consist in the relations. Men likewise think about women. And both those, and others dream of acquaintance for friendship or more serious relations.
For acquaintance both the men, and women need to leave a comfort zone. To make it happens easily not always. One of the reasons is inventing of response of other person. And, since the represented reaction is not always positive, there is desire to protect itself from the possible experiences connected with alleged acquaintance. If to be discharged of drawing up the scenario of development of the relations, not to finish thinking for the partner of the purposes of acquaintance, to allow events to develop slowly and gradually, that is chance that the arising relations will develop into firm friendship.
The lack of experience of setting of the relations out of work or house is one more reason of fear of new acquaintances. In this case men and women do not know that can be expected from acquaintance, and therefore prefer not to give a chance at all to the one who the first showed an initiative.
The reason of the following fear is in unwillingness to change the developed way of life. This fear is most strongly shown in case the previous relations brought a lot of pain and experiences. In order that to overcome it, it is necessary to allow itself to be convinced that the harmonious relations with the new partner are possible.
The women and men who reached a certain welfare are afraid of commercialism. Unfortunately, often these fears have under themselves the soil. In this case at acquaintance it is better not to advertize the financial position. In case accidental acquaintance developed into more serious relations, the view of financial questions should be sounded as soon as possible.
Well and one of the main problems are children from the previous relations. Someone is afraid to put them a psychological trauma, having entered into the new relations. And someone does not want to raise children of the former beloved. But actually so happens not always, both fathers and mothers most often carry out the obligations for education of children.
The choice of the place for acquaintance depends on habits, a way of life and level of sociability. The friendly circle of contacts or work remain traditional places for this purpose. But, as practice shows, it is possible to get acquainted in any place. It can be the cinema and theater, walk or morning jog, turn in shop or policlinic.
Getting acquainted, it is necessary to try to look quietly and surely though forces on it is necessary much. The benevolent look and a friendly smile will help to win over the interlocutor and to create relaxed atmosphere.
Acquaintance only begins, it has to be long and pleasant. Therefore at the first meetings it is necessary to choose simple and quiet subjects for a conversation which discussion with guarantee will not lead to the conflicts. It is not necessary to communicate as with very old acquaintance and to tell the interlocutor about all the problems and difficulties.
Hobby, music, movies and books, sport – here subjects interesting to all. The sincerity and naturalness will help to make a conversation emotionally rich. To ladies, planning the first conversations, it is necessary to remember that stories about clothes, cosmetics, ukhodovy procedures are boring for gentlemen. The last have to avoid back-handed compliments, persistence, cavalier manners. Both men, and women should refrain from hints about numerous love affairs. It will not increase appeal but only will push away the vis-a-vis.
If the relations are planned for rather long term, then you should not embellish the achievements and advantages. Then at more close acquaintance it will be possible to avoid unpleasant minutes when to confirm told earlier there will be nothing.
It is possible to tell about work, hobbies and interests. At the same time it is necessary to show consideration for reaction of the interlocutor to told. It will help to avoid awkward situations and to find the general points for contact.
Of course, to decide on new acquaintance it is difficult. The fear of uncertainty is very big. In this case it is necessary to choose tactics of transfer of an initiative. It works irrespective of who acts as the initiator of acquaintance. The essence of tactics consists in the sequence of actions and specular reflection of reactions of the interlocutor. A look in exchange for a look, a smile on a smile. Answer a question, set the. The initiative will pass to the partner, time for considering of the heard information will appear. At such course of a conversation it is easy to tell about the doubts and fears. The interlocutor will have an opportunity to tell about the true purposes of acquaintance and the intentions.
You leave a comfort zone gradually. It is not necessary to pass to active meetings, long joint pastime at once. Communicate, at an opportunity, on social networks, by phone. It will give time to know each other better, to discuss the issues which are alarming.
In advance think over several options of reaction to the offer to communicate. Then new acquaintance will not be unexpected. Also there will be a possibility of long and pleasant communication.