Crisis of the relations – one of the main problems of modern society. More than a half of marriages breaks up, the happy union of two – a big rarity. Why does that happenWhy does that happenWhy does that happen? People became others? Forgot to build the relations? Ideas of what the relations have to be changed? People do not know and do not understand themselves and others?
All this takes place to be, however people make most of all mistakes at a stage of the choice of the partner in life. Initially wrong choice does the relations unpromising and inevitably leads to the sad final.
What attracts modern young people in each other? Beautiful appearance, good social prospects, financial security? Very few people, are capable to make out behind these external attributes of the person, his specific features and moral contents.
People most often seek to seem better, than is actually, especially at a stage of acquaintance and the beginning of the new relations. Can surpass itself literally, having included the actor's talent. But it is impossible to represent all life not itself. Sooner or later masks fall down, and the person appears in all the magnificence, it what he is. At this moment the partners begin to understand that they absolutely each other do not know. Also the conflicts and disagreements begin.
How to avoid such problems? Further not to save in itself cargo of offenses and disappointments from unfulfilled hopes, not to regret for in vain downtime.
Of course, it is very important not to hurry with the choice and to be attentive to the partner, to pay attention to its acts, to ask a question: why the person arrives quite so, but not differently? It will help to understand better its basic values that is really important for him.
Certainly, it is necessary to deal with motives of creation of the relations as own, and the potential partner. Whether you are ready to work daily on the relations or everyone seeks to satisfy only the requirements at the expense of another? The need to be to someone necessary, call of duty, fear of loneliness, aspiration to solve the financial problems or desire "to save" the partner – is not favorable motives for creation of the harmonious union. At this stage the courage is important honestly to admit to itself and the partner what you actually want from the relations. It is no secret, that the marriages reminding rather an a business cooperation, than family are stronger just because spouses honestly express the intentions and do not wait for what cannot be.
If the love in the relations is important for you, then it is important to understand one simple truth – not all people have such talent. In this world of enough embittered, cruel and ungrateful men who the love cannot also be "warmed". They will cynically use you in the purposes. Therefore you should not give them such chance, and it is better to find the one who will be able to reciprocate to you.
So, what is necessary for a conscious and right choice of the partner.
First, knowledge of, the values, requirements, desires, aspirations, motives of behavior and a clear idea of what you want to see the union with the worthy person.
Secondly, good understanding of the potential partner in life, what he actually with all the merits and demerits, habits which got to it from parental family. Whether you are ready to be reconciled with all this all life whether there will be at you no desire to change the partner under itself?
Thirdly, it is necessary to align openly the interests with the interests of the partner, in advance having announced all the expectations that then it did not turn out so that someone was not ready to something.
And at the same time it is necessary to remember that even the right choice of the worthy partner does not cancel further moral discipline and daily work on itself.
Happiness to you!