The person who had to experience the death of the only child often remains with this grief alone. Of course, people around will be near it and will help it, but people will avoid a talk about death. The point of moral support which they will be able to render will come down to two phrases: "Fasten" and "Life goes on". Knowledge which was possessed by our ancestors and which was forgotten recently can come to the rescue of the person who tested the similar tragedy.
Instruction
1. Earlier, when the medicine was not so developed, the similar grief in families happened quite often. Therefore people developed pragmatic approach and the subsequent stages of the tragedy endured by the family of the dead are defined. You need to know grief stages to control the state of mind. It will help you to understand in time whether you were late in one of them in this case to ask for the help professionals.
2. The first stage – shock and catalepsy in which you do not believe in loss and you cannot accept it. In this stage the people behave differently, some stiffen from a grief, some try to be forgotten in activities for the organization of a funeral, a consolation of other relatives. There is "depersonalization" when the person not really understands who he where and why is is. Here soothing tinctures, procedures of massage will help. Do not remain alone, cry if you are able. This stage lasts about nine days.
3. Then, up to forty days, the denial stage at which you will already understand the loss can proceed, but your consciousness will not be able to reconcile to the event yet. Often during this period to people steps and a voice of left are heard. If it dreams, then talk to him in a dream, you ask to come to you. You speak about the dead with relatives and friends, remember him. During this period frequent tears are considered as norm, but they should not proceed day and night. If the stage of blocking and catalepsy proceeds, it is necessary to address the psychologist.
4. Loss acceptance, understanding of pain has to come to the next period which lasts about half a year after death. It can be weakened in it the period and again amplify. After three months there can come crisis, appear sense of guilt: "I did not save you", and even aggression – "You abandoned me". During this period the aggression can be transferred also to others: on doctors, the son's friends, the state. These feelings are normal, the main thing that they did not become prevailing and aggression did not drag on.
5. Some pain relief will be done by a year after death, but in a year, usually, the new splash is expected. If you are already able to operate the grief, then your feelings will not be aggravated also strongly, as well as in day of the tragedy.
6. If you normally endured all these stages, then already by the end of the second year the process of "grieving" comes to the end. It does not mean that you will forget about the endured grief, but you already learn to live by this time without the dead and to remember his light, your grief already will not always be followed by tears. You will have new plans, the new purposes and incentives to life.