Unfortunately, it is not always possible to keep first marriage. Sometimes everything develops not as it was planned, and the divorce seems the excellent decision. After the divorce the woman, as a rule, meets other man with whom she wants to connect the life. If there is a child from first marriage, then forming of the relations between the man and the stepson or the stepdaughter becomes important aspect. The main role in this question is played by the woman.
Instruction
1. It is necessary to acquaint the son or the daughter with future stepfather in advance. Too cruelly and thoughtlessly to present the son or the daughter with a fait accompli about the decision of a wedding. Not often the man and the child find a common language at once, especially if the man has no own children and experience of communication with them is extremely small. Therefore, you should not be upset if at once the contact was not come. It is necessary to tell more the son or the daughter about the man, to note his positive lines, and the man about the child, to say that he loves, than is fond, it will be so simpler to find a common ground and to quickly improve good relations.
2. Finding of common language is promoted between the child and the stepfather by pastime three together – trips to the nature, walks on the city, considering also opinion of the child. Common causes bring together and rally.
3. Often there is a question – as to the child to address the stepfather? Often women force the child to call the stepfather "father", without reckoning that he not always wants it. It is not desirable if there is a father, and the child communicates with him. The optimal variant is to call by name, it is better to leave the choice for the child, otherwise, not to avoid the conflicts and development of complexes in the child.
4. The good option – if the stepfather becomes for the stepson or the stepdaughter the senior friend to whom it will be possible to consult in a difficult situation, to trust in it in case ofin case of a problem.
5. Often issues of education become a stumbling block. Experts recommend not to discharge the stepfather of educational process. In education there has to be a unity – if mother does not resolve, then the stepfather should not lift the ban, or on the contrary, it concerns also punishments for offenses. Here it is important what the stepfather would be fair, but not just the performer of punishment, in that case, the speech about the authority of the stepfather in the opinion of the child does not go.
6. Often, the woman to take the part of the son or daughter even if those are not right, enters the conflict with the new husband at the child, thereby reducing in the opinion of the son or the daughter his authority. Even if the stepfather is not right, it is better to stipulate nevertheless it alone.
7. In forming of the relations between the stepson or the stepdaughter the woman should be sometimes the shrewd psychologist.