Dream of any mom - the school student who does homeworks, and everything that it needs to do - only to enjoy estimates yes to sign the diary. We remember what we were independent and organized, all did and did not pull parents (though for certain you just forgot many moments). And now you would like not to spend the nerves and forces for standing at the school student over soul too.
Let's begin with recognition of the first fact: the modern school so differs from school at which you studied that it literally assumes that you are obliged to spend a number of the time for the help to the child with school tasks. At first - on explaining to him not listened to the end and misunderstood at school. Then - on control of execution of homeworks (it is banal that the child did not consider crows over a notebook, and sat and did). And at the end - on check what it nareshat there. These are three separate moments. Sending the child to school, we can fondly hope that the school itself will take care of everything, will teach and will bring up. And teachers say meanwhile: ""I have 30 people in a class, I cannot explain to everyone!"". So we will just reconcile to the first part of your duties. If the child misunderstood something at school, then or you explain it to him, or the tutor. Nobody will help the child, except ourselves.
Please, kind of you grudged downtime and yourself personally, do not break on the child, do not call bad words if he does not understand, apparently, elementary things. When in a class the speed and ways of perception of information are a lot of children, and at everyone, it is noisy, it is a lot of distracting moments, it is possible to pass a lot of things really. It is not sign of nonsense and laziness. Here it is rather - problems of the organization of educational process, or concentration of attention.
The second point - control of execution of homeworks. Many mothers note that if not to sit next to the child or not to check periodically what he does, then the school student is distracted by foreign things, as a result performance of easy tasks drags on till the night. And in passing the experience of skilled mothers giving hope: usually need to sit near disappears after the third class. What does all this mean?
At pupils of younger school it is universal the deficiency of any attention is observed. It is not a disease, not the diagnosis, but property of children's brains which passes with age. We see that than the child is more senior, especially he is assidious and concentrated therefore the popular diagnosis of ""SDV(G)"" (deficiency syndrome of attention and hyperactivity) can be delivered to a half of pupils of the first or third of classes if desired. To treat all of them? Of course not! But the help with the organization of house classes is necessary not to start up business not drift and not to row all 10 years of school every evening.
At 10% of children, meanwhile, the deficiency of attention remains longer than usual. It can be followed by hyperactivity, or is not present. Vestie of the child to the doctor or not - each mom has to solve for herself. I would tell so: true SDV(G) really and noticeably interferes with education and often looks as pedagogical neglect. And within quite flexible norm all children are restless and can be inattentive.
Perhaps, your child went to school too early, and his control systems did not ripen. But not to take away him home? Therefore, it is necessary just to accept the second fact: younger school students need more external control, than the senior because they did not ""grow"" the internal yet.
How to help the school student?
My offers are simple. It is necessary to begin with what to shirk to mom it will not turn out. Establish the schedule of day, time frames, the system of encouragement to bring a little more order in chaos. Over time your school student will be involved, but first anywhere without supervision.
1. Schedule
Make the schedule in which time of school, a lunch, rest, homework and also time for the computer and the TV will be designated. You as children up to 9-10 years, as a rule, have no self-checking should monitor its execution.
2. Time frames of performance of a task
At first make sure that the child in principle understands in what a task essence. If he does not know what to do, he will hang and everything was gone. When the subject is clear, set time: let's tell, half an hour on one task, half an hour for another (be guided on the children, their speed and tasks to receive real figures). For early performance give bonus 5 minutes of cartoons. This simple method stimulates less to hang and more diligently to rustle.
In any schedule there has to be an indispensable condition: at first - a homework, then - entertainments. And limit time for delivery of all homework, including check - the 8th evenings (for example). Who was not in time without good reason - that remains without computer. Strictly? Maybe. But it works already with six-year-old children. And the child accurately understands that games are not privilege, but an award who was not in time, that was late.
3. System of encouragement
The system of encouragement is your personal gingerbread. It can be already mentioned plus five minutes of games or cartoons for the high rate of work and diligence, either a favourite dish, or something sweet. And for a week of excellent work the bonus more - for example, a visit of cinema, the park, etc. pleasant pastime is put.
When there comes the moment of check of homework, try to find always for what to praise the school student. Pay attention to what mistakes he makes. There are mistakes by carelessness, and is on ignorance. And though sometimes and there is a wish to ask: ""Well why????"", this question is absolutely senseless. You can offer the child the choice, simple and obvious: or to leave everything as it is, and with guarantee to receive lower mark, or to try to correct today errors. If there are mistakes on ignorance, try to explain as far as possible softly how it will be correct and why.
The most important that each mom needs to realize: it is impossible to deny assistance even if you had other plans. The child still the child, and we are responsible for him. If the school insufficiently well trains the pupil, it is dishonest to accuse of it him. The carelessness is a temporary phenomenon which will pass with age and therefore it is impossible to punish for what the child is not able to control yet. And here to structure day of the school student and to direct it, positively it is possible to motivate and it is necessary.
Also I recommend to devote free time to games of attentiveness and concentration of attention, so to speak, to develop this muscle of a brain. A tic-tac-toe, checkers, chess, sea battle, memor is not a complete list.
Though children can skillfully irritate and sometimes, apparently, do not mature at all, sooner or later it will occur. And in 20 years you will feel nostalgic for time spent behind homeworks. And what this time will be - exhausting or on the contrary, interesting and informative, opening in you talents of the attentive sensitive teacher, depends more on how house classes and what do you think of this part of maternal work are organized. It is work too, and very responsible - to teach children to control itself, to plan and defer pleasures.
Ideal children - only at acquaintances, and your child cannot become independent on magic. But in your forces to teach him to be organized step by step, gradually reducing the level of control over doing homework. And as a result you will be proud of yourself!
Yulia Syrykh. Designer. Writer. Mom