For harmonious development of talent of the child the support in family is necessary. It is necessary to love it, to understand and respect. It would seem, it and is so clear, but think whether your child knows about this love? Whether he feels this love and whether it is confident that you support him in any situation?
Why we lose trust
The love for the child is natural feeling which appears as soon as he began to move in mother's womb. Psychologists claim that children are often not sure of parental love. And we heard a question from children's lips more than once: "Do you love me"? For the child it is very important to have confirmation of love, but ourselves in it destroy this belief by such phrases as: "If you still behave so, I will not love you". The auction with love in the relation with the child is inadmissible!
Becoming parents, we have to pronounce each word consciously. A lot of things depend on us. We have to give to the child feeling of confidence in what he we love irrespective of circumstances. It is our main objective. Psychologists established three ways of expression of love for the child:
1. The loving look "eye to eye". It is the main method but which, unfortunately, is seldom applied. It is most popular in the relations of the loving couples, spouses, etc. Why we is so rare, with love we look to the child in the face? Yes because often parents ask to make it if he something did that you to bring him to "clear water". And he is afraid of this situation.
2. Touches. Tactile contacts and embraces are necessary for children. Up to three years they need it equally both boys, and girls. After boys begin to be discharged of it gradually. During this period for them it is possible to find a way somehow in a different way to express the love. For example, it can clap it or to arrange a duel. Often fathers hesitate to express the feelings, especially with children opposite a floor, and it affects the relations with them.
3. Attention. If you decided to pay attention to the child, then make it properly, but not in passing, being engaged still in some business. Let it will be fifteen minutes a day, but properly. For example, it is possible to have a heart-to-heart talk before going to bed or to discuss at breakfast plans for the forthcoming day.
Method to know the child better
When the child plays with sand at him there are unconscious associations, images, there are feelings and experiences which were hided deeply inside. Sand therapy is based on it. By means of this method the parents will be able to find understanding keys to the child.
Work has to happen together with the psychologist. He lets know to the child what feelings he has. Drawings on sand help to relax, give feeling of trust and help to reveal. Ask the child to draw the mood, then complicate a task, having asked to change the drawing, how it changes during the day. It is important to parents to pay attention to drawing details: the quiet or raging sea, heroes, etc.
It is possible to play an informal conversation, without pronouncing words. Draw that you want to tell, and the child, thus, has to answer. Thus, you have a chance to see soul of the child, his thought and a dream. This instrument of knowledge can be built most. The big box in which it is possible to fill fine sand is required and to put not large stones, but to draw patterns a children's rake.
When the relations with children fall, parents notice that the child ceases to respect them. That to return them, it is worth taking a detached view of himself. Perhaps, you somewhere made a mistake and your moral shape does not correspond to the child's ideals. It is not necessary to look for a problem in it. Look at yourself better and find out, what are you doing not and to correct the errors.
For the child the most important in parents not their achievements, but moral qualities. For this purpose it is necessary to be the person, estimable. Analyze style of communication with your offspring. Perhaps, it could become the dissonance reason with it. It will be hard to return the lost relations. And the child is more senior, the it is more difficult. At first it is necessary just to talk and once again to make a declaration of love to him. Then to admit the mistakes and to ask it to work together over them.
It is necessary to learn to communicate correctly. Everything depends on age. If it is a preschool child, then the key to mutual understanding will be in a game. If he is a teenager, then it is necessary to talk to him quiet tone. Emphasize nothing in his behavior. Do not compare it to others and do not attribute their qualities.
It is necessary to teach the child to look for in himself positive sides. Thus, we channelize him positive thinking. He looks for in himself good points and wants to correspond to them. The child perfectly understands a measure of the opportunities and needs support and approval. Even if he is lazy, he can be stimulated with the approving phrases. For example: "I believe in you" or "At you everything will turn out".
Parents not always "warm and fuzzy". They should take disciplinary actions and to bring up the child. Sometimes it is necessary to apply severity, but there are certain borders. It is possible to raise the voice, but not to offend and not to be called in any way. In each family the rules received from experience of education of the previous generations are developed. But whether it is worth relying on them blindly? It is possible foretoken here and the notes.
The main thing is mental sets in the head of parents. If you have an installation that the child – Charisma, then to you has to be for honor to help it with development. In this case you will not be able to offend him any more. And all your disciplinary punishments will go to him to the benefit.