To ask the man about the help so that he not only heard a request, but also executed it, - big art. From the woman at the same time the step, wisdom, persistence is required. How it is correct to sound the desires not to lose men's support?
Why it is difficult to ask
In the harmonious relations the man and the woman openly express the thoughts and feelings, care and support each other. Requests for the help at such relations are natural. But sometimes it appears that it is easier for woman to resolve a part of issues most, than to ask about it the man. There are several simple explanations of this fact:
- the woman has a hope that the man will show keenness and attention, will notice female desires or difficulties and itself will offer it the help;
- observation of family life of parents (if mother did everything itself, the probability that in the relations with the partner the daughter will show independence too is high);
- arrogance: the woman considers that requests humiliate her, do worse, put in a dependency from the man;
- lack of men's reaction to the previous requests;
- confidence is that the woman can do everything.
In the relations at the same time there are problems which could not be.
Expressing a request, follows …
It is accurate to formulate the thought. In the perception of reality of the man are guided by logic. Therefore in female requests they hear only what is told. No hints, a mimicry, change of intonations of a voice in this case work. Therefore, the request has to be formulated specifically, sounded by a soft voice in a quiet situation.
To repeat requests several times. The man can carry out only one task in a certain period. If the request is sounded when his thoughts are occupied with something, the answer maybe is not received. Therefore it is necessary to ask the man when his attention is concentrated on you. When the request is not satisfied, it is necessary to repeat it once again. Perhaps, last time men's thoughts were occupied with the solution of an important problem, and the request for the help remained unnoticed. Here also the female persistence and tactfulness will be useful to the partner.
To dose instructions. It is qualitative the man can remember and satisfy only one request. If it is necessary that he executed several instructions, it is necessary to sound them gradually, after full implementation previous.
To give time for reaction manifestation. After the request is said, the man needs time for considering of an optimum way of performance. You should not wait for lightning reaction. It is necessary to show patience, not to start independently solving a problem, and to give to the partner the chance to make everything as he finds necessary and best.
To create comfortable conditions. The man will show the most favorable reaction to a request in case all his physiological requirements are satisfied. The full, quiet, well rested man feeling the necessity and appeal is more appeasable. He carries out requests of the woman who inspired him feeling of own importance more willingly.
To show weakness and femininity. Asking the man about the help, the lady lets it know that she independently cannot cope with a problem. It induces the man to show the best qualities of the defender and professional in any business. The help to the woman, performance of her request (if it is feasible, of course) – a good opportunity for the man to be at the best. And he will use it with pleasure.
To be ready to refusal. In case the man does not find it possible to satisfy a request, he has right to tell about it. In it the essential difference of a request from the order consists. The adequate response to refusal leaves to the woman chances of performance by the man of the following requests if they arise. Reproaches, scandals and charges put the man in an awkward situation, induce to be negative to the woman and her requests.
To thank for its performance. It is necessary to praise the partner for performance of a request always! Even if from it heroic efforts were not required if he made everything not as there was a wish. The sincere gratitude has to follow any satisfied request. It will become powerful motivation for the man to more okhotny performance of the subsequent requests.
Whether it is necessary for men?
Female requests, undoubtedly, are important for men. To be necessary – one of basic psychological requirements. And the wise woman gives the chance this need to satisfy. It becomes that which very needs care and attention of this specific man. He takes the responsibility for female wellbeing. In such relations the best male qualities are implemented. He seeks for self-development. Relationship with the woman gets for it the increasing value. And it is important for both partners.