The husband and the wife, spouses, love, the relations, mutual understanding and support, the child or several children, marriage – all this we mean when we want to start a family. Well, actually, to make family – business simple. A ceremony, a stamp in the passport – and you already solid married man or the serious married lady. And then the most difficult begins and interesting, and it is not in bringing children and to live long and happily, and in that to keep this most, newly formed family.
Sadly, but fact: about 70% of young families break up within the first two years of marriage. Why it occurs? Whether it is possible to avoid it? The divorce is a big psychological trauma, especially, if in family the kid already managed to appear. Actually, about preservation of the relations, it is necessary to think of the fortress of family bonds long before its creation. Ideally, have to train in it at school and the loving parents are obliged to prepare children for family life that then there were no bitter disappointments. And for this purpose it is not necessary to give long lectures at all, or to study psychological works. Just before starting a family, it is necessary to pay attention to two simple, it is possible even to tell – obvious, to things.
- It would be quite reasonable to find out and whether couple will be able to live in general together? In most cases, before lawful registration of marriage, the groom with the bride live separately, and only after a wedding it becomes clear that the young spouse got used to scatter socks, underwear and stubs on all apartment, and the new wife is not able to prepare anything, except store pelmeni. "It is trifles" - will tell many. Of course trifles, but sometimes because of them also break up young families. The ideal option is to live together some time (but only separately from mothers and fathers!). Cohabitation gives to lovers the chance to see each other at the everyday, household level, with all features, habits, merits and demerits – and it is very valuable experience.
- The second important condition for strong marriage – financial independence. Of course, the parental help – it is normal, but in the young family which is completely depending on parents (in respect of housing, money and anything) there will be anyway conflicts which will not do it good. For this reason, creation of family and furthermore the child's birth optimum has to occur when young people become completely independent, and can understand that marriage is not only love, but also responsibility.
So, love, patience, ability to make intelligent decisions, readiness (and an opportunity) to care not only for itself – here necessary conditions to start a family: happy and harmonious.