, but fact. Parting with darling - one of the most difficult periods in life when there is a wish to be forgotten, to remember nothing, not to think even, but alas, it is far not so simple. Skilled people say - time heals. Yes, it is valid, than more passes time, there comes some ease, attachment is forgotten, becomes indifferent. But how to wait this period. A conclusion one - be self-controlled, the savior only one - you are.
For an example one story from our readers which speaks about such period, memoirs and the died feelings can serve.
Midnight. The old watch punched twelve times, finally zabrenchav the ancient mechanism. In the room the total darkness dominated. Some beams of a night star lit the center of the room where my body lay. Strange situation gave rather unconscious condition, than an ordinary dream or consequences of a rough festival. The head leaned on a ledge of a bed, hands were scattered on the parties, and legs are bent in knees. On a chin clotted blood, grazes on a face was seen - apparently, falling was not absolutely successful.
There was seventh day of my unclear existence. Yes, existence. Stresses, problems and experiences strongly loosened my nervous system - I could not sleep, is, to rejoice to something. Even it was difficult to squeeze out from itself a certain similarity of a smile, being afraid that at the same time the tear can roll down from the devastated eyes. And into whom I turned? Involved me in a track of infinite change of days and nights which not strongly differed from each other. For hours, peering into night stars, I reflected much, slowly destroying the optimistic the spirit which is saved up by long years of work on itself. I met dawn with the swelled-up eyes, an extinct look and suppressed mood. They say that misfortunes never come alone. It was valid the truth which I suffered.
The state when you come home after night watch is familiar to you? Walked all night long or with pleasure you rush in embraces of the bed after intense day? Whether you tried to sleep long time? It is thought that is not present. The person is presented with this gift, carrying out thirty percent of the life there. After three days of insomnia you begin to be lost in time, after five - there comes certain euphoria. As if the addict you go down stream of destiny against which to resist is simply useless. Your mental capacities are slowly disconnected, reaction to situations falls, you do not want to perceive as is. Illusions, fascination, former memoirs - all this merges and just destroys you from within. But the most terrible is to hear and see what you were afraid in the far childhood of …
Eyelids shuddered and widely swung open. The sharp headache pierced my brain. Holy Christ, as unpleasantly, - rushed in the head. I tried to rise, but again returned to a starting position. Consciousness stirred up, forced down from feeling of reality. I made a deep breath and, having rested palms against a floor, began to creep to a door. Fresh air was necessary and, he would inhale in me new forces. Several moments, and it worked.
- Not everything is so bad, - I told myself, considering bruises. Dizziness decreased, pain abated, forces were restored. There was a wish to sleep and so that to fall asleep for couple of days and to forget those pains which still wandered in my heart. Whether it will turn out? Week without rest obviously affected my state, slowly dementing. The world seemed so gray that soul just did not perceive the existing reality. As though it is deep, somewhere in me there was an emptiness which gradually killed in me all positive emotions. And now still this faint which arose against the background of a nervous state. Whether long I will suffer still it? Probably, this condition of separate balance between the different parties of the soul is familiar to much.
I lay down on a bed, in advance having pulled off a cover. The pillow departed on a floor as cervical vertebras awfully hurt. Having closed eyes, my body tried to relax. Feelings are not especially pleasant when the headache does not want to disappear in any way and the hurt places hoot.
- It is not necessary to sleep, otherwise I will be able just to control myself, - the thought sleepy flashed.
I quietly plunged into the strange dream full of fears and surprises. Music rattled, it is noisy the crowd exulted, beautifully laid tables - the place reminded some celebration. Smiling faces, richly decorated hall, a set of flowers. Birthday, family holiday, wedding? The last word especially pierced in my consciousness. About what I?! I understood that I sleep, I need to wake up, it should not be! My entreaties were rejected, it went as if an angel in the attire. Gently going on the floor covered in roses and correcting the white dress, the bride furtively glanced at the beloved whose face I could not make out.
- Wake up! - I cried and hit myself on a face. I as if was dipped into cold water, and what was seen began to disappear. Hands shivered, the body hurt, the person twitched - I sat on a bed, hardly taking the breath. Heart knocked as if the automatic machine. Having stretched to a bedside table and having included a floor lamp, I found demulcent.
The dream lasted only ten minutes. Not bad, the norm is executed - I grinned, having pulled off from myself a pajamas and dressing the best clothing. Night was very beautiful, the set of stars shone in the sky as if a scattering of diamonds in the middle of barkhans. The new moon smiled to me as though understanding my thoughts and sincerely calming my soul. It was warm, the small breeze blew, occasionally uplifting fallen leaves and forcing them to turn in air as if mute dancers of fall.
I never noticed this beauty which we pass the ordinary-looking look, eternally occupied with the household efforts. No, soul always rejected any existence of romanticism, but sometimes when your soul is empty as if the dried-up lake, there is a wish to distract and be forgotten.
The street replaced the street, the road wound in different directions, and I went and went. Passersby, probably, marveled to expression of my person which was as if the mask which is cut out by the skillful sculptor from a stone. Where to head? Walk, extent in several hours or again a meeting of the first beams of the sun on a bench? Or to run risks, having tried to fall asleep and just to be forgotten in the depths of the imagination? I know one - the end is not close.
Seconds seemed for minutes, minutes - hours. Ahead morning. Another meeting of madness with dawn. Our actions cause consequences, but we have to live with it. The next night will be decisive …