What is the family relations?"

There are many types of marriage communications and even more subtleties of interaction between the husband and the wife. About what marriages happen and what relations between spouses that in family there was a harmony have to be, read further.

Concept of the relations of family: psychology

The family is a live structure which functions as the harmonious mechanism, it is small social group with the laws and orders. Subjects of the family relations are family members. Depending on family relations and vital circumstances, the family can look differently.

In ideal conditions it is the husband, the wife and children. Variations with one parent, one child, without children and others are also possible. Strong connections between generations give the chance to call members of the family of grandmothers and grandfathers.

Matrimonial relationship consists in creation of a certain type of communications. Between the husband and the wife there can be authoritative and equivalent relations. Children can communicate with parents in a strict framework, and can be on an equal basis with other family members.

Psychologists and sociologists allocate a set of types of relationship. There are no accurately designated laws of family life therefore each family selects communication type according to personal criteria.

Whether you know? The family psychology studies the emotional, psychological and sexual relations in marriage. As the separate section of psychology exists from 1960th.

Subtleties of the family relations

To construct happy family, psychologists advise not to rely only on instincts. If you want to have healthy family relations, consider some subtleties which will help to construct harmonious marriage:

1. Behave validly. Always act, proceeding from respect for the partner.
2. Do not clash at strangers. To take out family problems on a public inspection — destiny of irresponsible people. Resolve all issues alone.
3. Consider crises. Each marriage goes through development stages which are listed below. Transition to a new stage can be quite connected with family crisis. Be in advance ready to disorders.
4. You speak with each other. Many problems can be avoided if to discuss the emotions and feelings with the spouse.
5. Do not forget about character of the partner. Your spouse or the spouse has the character which not necessarily has to coincide with yours. Do a discount for features of the loved one. However do not allow to manipulate yourself and establish personal borders.
6. You do not suffer unacceptable. Violence, beating, insults and restrictions of freedom cannot be suffered even for the sake of children.

Stages and bases of development of family

Life cycle of family consists of several stages which there passes each traditional cell of society. Different psychologists and sociologists put forward the classifications of stages of development of family.

The most widespread consists of seven stages:

1. The relations before marriage. It is a stage of romantic love. Partners recognize each other, meet and look narrowly for the purpose of assessment of further prospect of creation of family.
2. Childless family. Actually this period comes when the man and the woman begin to live together. It can be both marriage, and cohabitation. Couple builds together life, reveals strong and weaknesses of each other in cohabitation.
3. Firstborn's birth. Appearance of the child introduces amendments in habitual life of spouses — fatigue and cares influence their relationship. The firstborn's birth, unlike the subsequent children, is considered crisis as before babies in family were not. Over time couple will learn to live with the child and will get used to changes in life.
4. Family members got used to each other. Between the husband and the wife there were harmonious relations. Children grew up and take part in family life.
5. Adult children. The next stage — children grew up and are going to go to independent life. Often it is connected with the leaving school, university or the forthcoming moving.
6. Children abandoned parents. When children left from parents, between spouses there can be a misunderstanding. Often couple is connected only by children and has no common interests. It is necessary to look for common language again, to establish cooperation with each other. Not to allow a problem, support a romanticism note throughout all joint life.
7. Old age. If spouses do not get divorced till an old age, the old age becomes the last family stage. Most often it is connected with retirement. To a retirement age the husband and the wife had separate interests, work, and now they should be almost constantly together. In harmonious couple with the general hobbies of problems does not arise — the husband and the wife have time for joint affairs.

Important! The Sozavisimy relations often harm mentality of the person. At the first manifestations of dependence address the psychologist.

The stated stages belong to traditional family — partners in marriage and with children. However the relations can be different therefore precisely it is not always possible to predict stages of family life. So, besides standard communications there can be childless couples or guest marriages. Non-standard matrimonial communications will have other stages of development.

Types and types of the relations in family

Psychologists break the interpersonal relations in family into two big categories — "the husband-the wife" and "parents-children". Each of categories has the features and is subdivided into types.

Between the husband and the wife

Relationship between spouses can be partner or sozavisimy. Also there is broader division into family roles. Separately psychologists allocate a stage after the child's birth when not only the relations, but also life of spouses change.

Sozavisimy or partner

These two types cardinally differ from each other:

1. Sozavisimye of the relation is a communication between people who are afraid to lose each other and do not represent life out of family. Either both partners, or one of them are exposed to codependence. The reason — fear of changes, excessive affection for the person, lack of personal interests or complexes which prevent to perceive themselves as the individual. Sozavisimye people perceive themselves only together with darling, refusing identity. Often their partners use vulnerability of the spouse and behave rather freely, even with a jeer. Sozavisimye is forgiven by unfaithfulness, treacheries, beatings and other manifestations of disdain. In especially dangerous cases of the wife or husbands at a gap go on a suicide as do not see the future without this partner.
2. Partnership — healthy communication in which two created persons build joint life with a careful eye to personal qualities and the interests of each other. Partners have general hobbies, views which help to build joint life. The husband and the wife in such couple respect personal space of each other. They perceive the relations as a part of the life, but not as all life.

Whether you know? The most large family in the world was registered in the 18th century. The shuysky peasant Fyodor Vasilyev had 69 children from the first wife and 18 from the second.

To define type of the relations, ask yourself a question of what will be your life without spouse. If you cannot present life out of family and do not know that to do in such situation, most likely, at you sozavisimy type. If you treat absence of the partner in life more calmly and understand that any gap can be worried, you have a partner family.

Role

Traditional society allocates two matrimonial roles: men's and women's. In the same way men give with function the getter, and to the woman suggest to protect homeliness. Similar division was present at earlier stages of existence of mankind. In modern realities segregation of duties more flexible. Psychologists call at least nine matrimonial roles:

1. Tasks — to earn money and to provide material aspect of life. Historically the role belongs to the husband. In the conditions of danger and constant survival men had to get by force food to support family. In process of evolution the need for "hunting for mammoths" disappeared. The full-fledged role of the getter is relevant for one of spouses only in conservative society — a thicket it is halved, and both spouses earn. In the developed countries this function to a large extent more often is undertaken by women.
2. Tasks — to remove, prepare, to go shopping in shop, to organize the cozy atmosphere. In this case the difference between conservative and progressive society is also visible. Traditionally the woman is engaged in economy — while the husband got food, the wife supported fire in the center and cooked the food brought to them. Presently the balance of the getter and owner in family remains — when the family is provided by one partner, the second naturally is engaged in economy. If both spouses work, both also should divide obligations for economy.
3. Supporting family relations. Tasks — to support communication with close and distant relatives, to congratulate on holidays, to call on a visit. Important function which allows not to separate from family. There are no traditional features of a role. It is necessary to support family relations to more sociable and socialized spouse or both equally.
4. Spiritual leader. Tasks — maintenance of traditions, involvement of all family members in the general hobbies. Stronger communication of spouses who equally honor family traditions. If one of partners is more busy, the second of them can become the spiritual leader. The main thing — that all family members supported the general spirit.
5. Organizer of rest. Tasks — the organization of holidays, family leisure, the days off, trips. In the family relations it is important to spend at least a part of free time together. One of spouses or both undertake a role of the organizer of holidays and days off. If one partner — the homebody, and the second — the inveterate traveler, it is important to maintain balance in family leisure. The organizer of rest in family is also engaged in it.
6. "Psychotherapist". Tasks — maintenance of emotional connection, support in difficult situations. The role on himself is tried on by the partner who worries about spiritual mutual understanding and psychological health of the spouse. In ideal marriage both partners equally perform this function.
7. Sexual partner. Tasks — leadership in intimate relations. This is the person who initiates sexual contact and is prepotent in this plan. Can serve both the husband, and the wife.
8. Responsible for the baby. Tasks — education of the baby before his formation as persons. For the natural reasons a role is played by mother who nurses the child. In separate situations of the baby also the father can raise.
9. Tutor of children. Tasks — education of the grown-up child, participation in formation of his personality. When the baby grows up, process of education joins the second parent. In harmonious family both parents are engaged since childhood in education.

Functions can belong to one spouse or be divided for two. It is impossible to limit accurately roles of the husband and the wife — everything depends on a specific situation.

Important! Teenagers not always want to celebrate New year or a birthday in the family circle. You do not press on the child, do not force it to refuse communication with friends, however establish borders, for example, on celebration time — in everything there has to be a measure.

After the child's birth

Life of married couple after the child's birth always changes: there is a new person for whom it is necessary to care. To certain age the child cannot independently perform even the simplest functions — the baby is come to the rescue by either one parent, or both. Further existence of family depends on character of spouses and as far as they are created as the personality, in this situation. After the birth of the child the following options of succession of events are possible:

• both partners join in education process, divide duties equally and help each other;
• one of spouses, is more often the wife, goes on a maternity leave and pays all attention to the child, the second spouse concentrates on the affairs and does not take part in education of the baby until that grows up;
• the spouse in the decree concentrates attention on the baby, and the second parent who did not get used to supporting roles takes offense — as a result, in family the conflict begins.

The healthy relations — partner. Parents have to behave as partners and to agree about the duties related to the child. There is no universal system of relationship. It is important that spouses realized responsibility for the new person — in that case the conflicts will not be.

Learn in more detail what can be the relations between the man and the woman.

Between parents and children

The important task of the parent at education of the child is to designate borders in advance and to define type of relationship. Sociologists offer different classifications of relationship between parents and children.

The most exact and compact typology divides communications into four types:

1. Traditional family where the father (patriarchal type) or mother (matriarchal type) is at the head. Children grow in a strict framework, have no right to express opinion. Parents respond to children's offenses with punishment, sometimes physical. Often in authoritative families the parents treat education exactly the opposite. So, quite often it happens that the father beats the child, and mother is sorry and helps to hide the event.
2. Anarchical type in which family members do not respect each other. It is allowed to children to behave frivolously with parents. Parents do not choose expressions in communication with children. There are no accurately designated borders, children feel impunity.
3. Opposite previous type which often meets in the modern world. Is expressed by hyper guardianship and glorification of the child. In such families children receive all best and get used to domination. They difficult adapt in society and often long live with the hyper sponsoring parents.
4. Harmonious or related. In terms of psychology, it is the healthy relations. Their main line — democracy. Between family members borders legal are designated, but children do not feel fear in communication with parents as it happens in authoritative families. Offenses are followed by a conversation, but not scandal and physical punishments. Parents listen to children, and children respect opinion of parents.

It is necessary to think of the relations with the child at the beginning of his life. How the parent will build relationship, both the nature of fumes, and even his mental health depend.

Family traditions

Traditions — an important component of the family relations. Joint rituals, holidays and events strengthen family relations, do family by united team. Each family thinks out traditions proceeding from personal preferences and hobbies.

Read also how to adjust and improve the relations with the husband.

Among possible options there is following:

1. Viewing movie. Every week, for example, on Friday evening, be going to watch all family the movie. You can watch every time of a cinema novelty, consistently study a filmography of a certain director or revise old favourite movies. If in family there is a child, suggest it to choose what to look at. The main nuance — the movie has to be pleasant to all family members.
2. Order of ready food. Choose one day a week when you do not make a dinner, and you will order, for example, pizza or the Chinese noodles. Can successfully combine this tradition with the previous option.
3. Joint preparation of dishes. On the day off gather all family on kitchen, prepare the recipe of an unusual dish and try to prepare it together. It is possible to look for every time recipes in different kitchens of the world. In some days off prepare a lasagna, in the second — squids in Thai, in the third bake cheesecake. The similar custom not only will rally family, but also will develop gastronomic taste.
4. If there is a financial opportunity, try time to be chosen in a month to other city or the country for the weekend. Walks in new places, visit of sights and other pleasures of travel will become excellent joint leisure.
5. Visit of cinema, theater or restaurant. Visit of new places on the weekend — great tradition to which many families adhere. To attach to custom of the child, you drive it at cinema on animated films, in puppet theater or in cafe with the children's room.

Separately It is necessary to tell about joint holidays. It is an important component of the family relations. Holidays can conditionally be divided into three categories:

• standard (New year, The Eighth of March);
• religious (Christmas, Easter);
• personal (birthdays, anniversaries).

At least part of them it is better to celebrate in the family circle. Make joint holidays family tradition — it will only rally family.

Councils for overcoming conflict situations in family

In any families there are conflict situations sooner or later. Sometimes to solve them it is very difficult.

It will be interesting to you to learn about violence problems in family.

Psychologists give the following advice:

• structurally discuss the reason of a problem and its consequence;
• avoid scandals, shouts and the more so violence;
• be interested in opinion of the spouse or child;
• on requirement each family member has to be able to make a compromise;
• communicate validly, do not offend others verbally or acts;
• guilty of the conflict even if it is the parent, it is worth apologizing.

The provided recommendations will help to solve the conflict in partner harmonious family where there is mutual respect. The harmonious matrimonial relations are possible between people who belong to each other as partners. Respect — an important component of both matrimonial communication, and relationship of parents and children.