One of the most great difficulties in the relations between the stepson or the stepdaughter and the new parent is the problem which is shown in attempts of the stepfather or stepmother to behave as the biological parent.
1. As a rule, children very hard postpone a divorce of parents and therefore express the emotions whims and bad behavior in relation to the new parent. In addition, even if whether the relations are more less adjusted, they can worsen at the birth in family of the joint child. Will seem to the senior that he superfluous and is necessary to nobody.
2. The most widespread mistake of the stepfather or stepmother is that they do attempts to become the child the father or mother and behave respectively. Certainly, the child needs to be loved, but if the real parent is, then the kid will not want to have one more.
3. It is necessary to improve the relations with the kid very slowly and carefully, without crossing these borders, that is not to work as the biological father. It is important even if the real parent evades from the duties concerning education of the child. If to follow this rule, the kid himself will expand these borders over time and will create closer relations with the stepfather.
4. In addition, it is not necessary to feel sorry for time and efforts to know the child better. It is not necessary to treat him as to the enemy or the ally. It is better to look at him, as at darling and the loved one for your spouse. After a while he will answer with good. The main thing is not to force events and to wait when the child takes the first step.
5. If there is a need to punish the child, then the real parent has to make it. Often mothers and fathers feel guilty before the child for a divorce and begin to indulge in everything to it. In spite of the fact that the parent does not pay attention to too got naughty child, the nonnative father or mom do not need to punish him. The best option will be to talk to the spouse and to find out the reason of such softness in education of the child.
6. The stepfather or the stepmother have the right to bring up, but not to punish the child and deserve the same respect, as well as the biological parent.
7. The new parent has to understand that building relations in family usually happens 1.5 - 2. It is rather long process, but as the child matures, he will surely estimate good attitude, endurance and patience in relation to himself.