Some parents it is groundless consider the child by personal property, refusing to him an opportunity to have own opinion. Some children resignedly submit to will of parents, others continue to insist on the, showing so-called obstinacy.
The birth of the child is a sacrament as a result of which the independent personality is born. If parents position from the very beginning the relations with it as with the equal member of society, the problem of obstinacy will not arise. The obstinacy of the child is a reaction to parental domination.
What is the children's obstinacy
In the dictionary by Dahl there are several synonyms to the word "obstinacy" among which one, the most precisely characterizing this behavioural factor in a case with the child – original, that is protecting own identity.
The obstinacy of the child differs from adult obstinacy and is directed, first of all, to self-affirmation of as persons. A priori cannot there be a speech about obstinacy at early infantile age. All whims of this age are connected with physical or psychological discomfort. Approximately at the age of 2-3 years the child begins to realize himself as the personality, at this time he ceases to call himself by name and begins to use concerning himself personal pronouns. At this age he does self-affirmation attempts that can be apprehended by adults as whims or obstinacy.
How to behave with the stubborn child
First of all, from the first days of life of the child it is worth treating it as to the personality who meanwhile cannot do without the help of adults. Can seem to someone paradoxical, but for the child in family there should not be bans. Under a ban there has to be only what constitutes danger of life and to health, and the ban has to be motivated and illustrated. The popular wisdom speaks – not gold the child asks. To certain age all desires of the child are connected with satisfaction requirements among which both curiosity, and desire of communication. Having learned to guess the true reason of obstinacy, the parent will forever save himself from need to indulge whims. If the situation got out of hand, time is missed and the obstinacy became a habit, then it is worth remembering laws of physics which sometimes primenitelna and to the human relations. Action is equal to counteraction. In the relations "adult child" the adult is obviously more strength in respect of life experience. Showing self-affirmation attempts, the child does not understand what happens to it, and a task of the adult to make so that the transition period passed without prejudice to formation of the personality. You should not allow to manipulate yourself, as well as you should not insist on implementation of the requirements. If the atmosphere of love and respect reigns in family, the possibility of a compromise solution of any question will always be. If in family it is restless, then the problem of obstinacy of the child is secondary, and for a start it is necessary to adjust family relationship.