According to the Vedic sacred writing, the most powerful energy among all live is an energy of love. The love is the cornerstone of creation of everything in the Universe and on the importance equals lives in general, Article will tell about step development of love, features and time frames of each phase.
Why it is important to pass all steps of love
However many it was written novels, it is told ballads, it is sung songs, kind of scrupulously psychologists approached a research, the love between the man and the woman still remains secret behind seven seals. Perhaps, this results from the fact that each person is unique, and the love of each couple is also unique and unique. But some regularities in the relations nevertheless can be revealed and systematized. According to ancient exercises of types, the love grows in the relations between the man and the woman and develops, going through seven stages.
It is accurate to designate borders and time intervals of these periods it is not possible: they can smoothly pass from one to another, some pass at the same time, and some are so short-term that, apparently, the stage is passed, the recurrence of repetition is possible. Passing of stages depends on characters of partners, degree of love and reciprocity, community of interests.
Important! Knowledge of the entire periods of formation of the relations between the man and the woman will help young family to approach prepared for difficulties of the first years of matrimony and uberezhyot couples from stains.
Description and characteristic of each stage of love
To check conclusions of ancient exercises and modern psychologists, rather truthfully and honestly to track development of own relations.
Love
The stage which is the most memorable and filled with emotions — the love period. You met the half, allocated it from people around. There was "chemistry", production of hormones provokes feeling of "butterflies in a stomach", think-tanks of reasonable perception of the world are disconnected. In total around it seems the faultless, bright and filled happiness. During this romantic period which lasts about one and a half years the lovers do not notice each other shortcomings and if notice, then all forgive, inspired with thirst of joyful meetings and bright feelings. The period can end with a wedding and further development of the family relations.
Satiation
Frequent and long communication reduces novelty of feelings and intensity of emotions, habits succeed. Household daily affairs force life to return to the habitual course, to fall from heaven by the earth. Shortcomings because the brain begins to analyze and assess a situation sensibly become noticeable.
Whether you know? Usually the person about seven times go before marriage through a love stage.
Such changes usually occur in 2-3 months after acquaintance and close communication and take place quickly, often is not noticeable for lovers. At this step the first quarrels and misunderstanding begin. If one of partners still is in a love phase, then he does not understand why another is engaged in current affairs, work, meetings with friends, depriving of him individual communication. From this step the return to the revived love is possible if partners find new paints for the relations. If one person takes a sincere liking for other person, it will be not so difficult for it to reconcile to shortcomings.
Disgust
Love with "pink glasses" remained behind. Life, clear understanding of shortcomings of the partner, the analysis of its acts and doubts in correctness of the choice succeeded. This step — true test for couple. Advantages often pass into the background, giving way to shortcomings. This step opens a way to true love if partners find forces to pass such difficult stage of the relations.
Whether you know? In Ireland there is a belief on which the woman has to eat a clover with four leaflets with thoughts of the pleasant man. After that he surely will fall in love with her.
The wisdom in the solution of the arising disagreements is capable to smooth and accelerate passing of this phase. If the union broke up, then the person is capable to go further around, creating the relations with the new partner, passing a phase of love and coming back to a stage of rejection and rejection of shortcomings of other person.
Humility
Recognizing and forgiving shortcomings of the partner, couples come to humility and understanding. If you forgive shortcomings of other person, then you hope that he will forgive yours. Mutual claims and scandals become rare, couples learn to adapt and forgive. Psychologically and emotionally more flexible by the nature, women can come rather to humility and forgiveness, pushing the man to response.
Whether you know? The wedding march of Mendelssohn which the composer wrote in 17 years broke all records of performance of pieces of music. For the first time the march sounded at a wedding of the English princess and future king of Prussia in 1858.
It is necessary to learn to conduct dialogues, to sort unpleasant situations, without accumulating offense and misunderstanding. To try to transfer all shortcomings to other quality, allocating advantages, decency and ability to forgive.
Emergence of new life — the child at this stage imposes additional requirements to overcoming difficulties and household, and psychological character. Or the crack between partners goes deep, or they rally for overcoming difficulties stronger.
Respect
Over time the respect comes to the relations. At this stage the respectful relation in couple is based on recognition of advantages and vital values of each other. Partners rally more closely and establish joint cooperation. To help, to care and do something good and pleasant for other person just like that becomes a necessity.
Important! Try to speak more often and sincerely about the love, find common interests (music, books, a hobby), create small simple holidays daily.
Reasons for quarrels and scandals are exhausted, and adoption of others opinion takes place consciously and without serious consequences. The respect often is considered stronger basis of marriage, than love, and is the first sign of sincere love.
Friendship
Having gone rather long way of strengthening and formation of relationship, couple enters a phase of warm friendly attitude. But it is necessary to remember that at friendship between the man and the woman there is always a sexual component. Such relations increase self-esteem level, give to self-confidence and in the partner, couple feels comfortable and comfortably. The respect for hobbies and occupations, emotional attachments of each other comes. Couple tries to create the world filled with joint experiences and values. It is easy for them to share the most intimate, to ask to each other for the help.
Love
Couple naturally and deservedly enters the last phase of the relations — love. They found understanding, created the union with cultural and material values, learned to forgive and respect each other, surrounding with care. But not all manage to come to the happy end — it is necessary to pass the previous stages with the difficulties and losses.
It will be interesting to you to learn how to distinguish love from love.
To find harmony of the inner and outside world. At this stage the people become a whole, understanding and supplementing one another. The quiet and joyful feeling of harmony with itself and with darling comes.
What can be love stages in psychology by years
Unlike romantic lyrics which sings of infinity of love drier and pragmatic science the psychology gives accurate temporary differentiations of stages of this feeling. All way consisting of seven consecutive stages, many couples pass in 7–10 years. This decade also defines the further strong family relations. If it turns out to pass safely all peripetias, it is possible to hope, as till an old age the people will keep wisdom and happiness in the relations with each other.
Psychological stages of development and formation of matrimony by eyes of the psychologist (Michele Veyner-Davies) contain 5 stages:
- Love — a time interval — from acquaintance to 1–3 years of matrimony. It is characterized by process of accustoming, cooling, irritation which are caused by household disorder and doubts in the choice of the partner. At this step the overcoming disputed issues or a divorce otherwise is possible.
- Trust — from 1–3 to 5–7 years of matrimony. Difficulties of passing depend on specific features and characters of spouses. The suspiciousness, jealousy, irresponsibility of any partner can add difficulties in overcoming a stage. Fidelity, repentance and forgiveness — the lines allowing to keep the union from a divorce.
- Feeling of relationship — from 5–7 to 10–15 years of matrimony. The created union is under construction not from scratch. Each spouse has relatives and relatives, professional ambitions and aspirations to self-realization. At this stage the revaluation of values and priorities, ability to build up trusting relationship with relatives of the second half and to put priorities of the family for the first place is necessary.
- Feeling of unity — from 10–15 to 20 years of matrimony. Without having reached unity of material and cultural wealth, matrimony appears under the threat because of disagreements concerning education of children and also material difficulties which are capable even to lead such long relations to a gap. Only the unions constructed on tolerance and mutual understanding are capable to cope with difficulties. Joint rest, a talk on any subjects and physical proximity (touches, embraces, sex) will allow to feel unity with the half.
- Here also the last long-awaited phase of the relations which will last of 20 years of matrimony till an extreme old age came. The union has the history and the general memoirs, children grow up and too come to a circle of formation of the relations. But this phase can reveal discontent with appearance of the partner, disharmony of proximity and search of new sexual hobbies on the party. Updating of feelings will be helped by new impressions and imaginations, the joint purposes and leisure, change of image and a house situation which will take away from a routine of seed life.
When you see the elderly spouses holding hands know — they passed through all stages of formation and kept the first love, having overcome difficulties. Having passed a thorny road from love to true love, couple builds up a strong and cordial relationship.
Learn what is the family relations.
To which vital and emotional difficulties will not be able to prevent any more. This peace is strengthened by mutual friendship, understanding and empathy in which base the love lies. We wish you to pass safely all stages and to be happy.