Continuous rivalry between lovers not always conducts to crash of the relations. On the contrary, it can sometimes even stir interest of people to each other, force them to aspire to the best and to be improved constantly. However when rivalry develops into "arms race" when everyone seeks to earn as much as possible, to climb a career ladder, etc. quicker, or even in a peculiar family war, it is worth taking as soon as possible measures to keep the relations.
Kind rivalry does people better. Seeing progress of the husband, the wife sometimes begins to try doubly. In the same way the husband, having learned that his beloved raised salary, sometimes seeks also to achieve increase. Lovers rivals in such cases, as a rule, are successful, clever and well-read. They watch the appearance, trying to correspond each other. Continuous rivalry does not allow feelings to die away and helps the man and the woman to live together many years, without being tired from each other. In such relations the husband and the wife gain victories in turn, and thanks to it they keep a high self-assessment and mutual respect. It is necessary to aspire to such relations that who sees in the soulmate not just darling, and the rival.
Alas, often the relations in such couples are under construction according to other scheme. The achievements lovers try to humiliate with a time each other, to prove to the partner that he in everything is worse, so, has to submit. Each own failure in such situations is perceived as the tragedy, and the constant aspiration to self-improvement is explained only by fear to lose and give a new reason for sneers. Such relations can try to be corrected, having learned it is easier to treat victories of orchestra seats and the defeats, however both lovers have to change the attitude, otherwise the situation will not improve. Other option is to pay attention not to similarities, and to distinctions. For example, if the husband constantly gains victories in one sphere, the wife should be engaged in something new, something in what it will surpass the partner.
There is also one more type of rivalry constructed not on progress, and more likely on regress. In such couples the man and the woman constantly argue who puts more in the family budget who is tired more who should be engaged in unpleasant household efforts more often and so forth. Because of such strange rivalry constantly there are scandals: the husband refuses to take out garbage, assuring that he is tired at work stronger, and the wife argues with it and in revenge ceases to wash the dishes. Mutual reproaches only become heavier with the advent of the child: everyone is sure, that he finds for the kid more time that loves it more and brings up more correctly. "Competitions" as a result of which also the child suffers begin, parents find more time for rivalry and disputes, than care for the kid. It is important to remember that in such situations behind reproaches the fear of vulnerability, desire to be necessary quite often is. Speaking to the wife that she spends not enough time with family and does not pay attention to the child, the husband sometimes wants to tell that he misses and dreams of a strong, close-knit family. Learn to tell such things directly and to understand others hints, and reasons for rivalry will not be.